crown victoria

hey, ford crown victoria, get the fuck out of the snow. you are going to get ill and frankly i don't have the time or inclination to take care of you. you are old and sick already, disadvantaged as a relic of the american propensity towards huge cars that suck. you are also named after queen victoria, who i think was the longest serving monarch in british history. hmm. maybe this is some sick revenge joke by our UK friends, saddling us with a horribly designed car that won't seem to die or go away. don't worry, detroit will continue to sucker the law enforcement establishment and provide you at incredible deals to every police department who needs you. don't work too hard though, your life as a taxi in some small coastal new england town awaits. ok. good.