hi. hello. hi.

hi. another late night. i've been around now for 39 years, officially, now. 

recently, there have been tremendous changes in my life. everything that i have known, all the conventions and rote mechanics of the way that life should work have been left behind. even the way that relationships work no longer make any sense to me. it's very depressing, because for me, nothing is certain anymore. i'm holding onto one thing. to the idea that following your heart, that listening to your instinct will bring you to who you need and want to be in life. maybe that end point will be with someone who you share a special unique bond. maybe you'll be satisfied creatively, financially and socially, but will end up constantly traveling and never having a stable situation.

maybe i'll keep ruminating on all of this until my brain finally can't do it for one second longer. i think that is what will happen. what happens then . . . ok.