hello.

it has been some time since i have poured it all out on here. there are many reasons for this, and i'm not going to go into all of them now. i think the winter of 2008-2009 may have been the most miserable time in my life. i learned a lot about life, a lot about love and a lot about friendship. i spent a lot of time thinking about honesty. most of this came in the form of openness in relationships, and lessons about what happens when this is not the case.

right now, i'm in a bedroom in my parents finished basement. my two kids are asleep on a sofa bed around the corner, and i'm finishing my third glass of champagne. it's after 1pm and the cringing over Dick Clark's verbal delivery, or disgust for Ryan Seacrest's canned excitement, or urge to buy Nivea Brand Products has faded away and it is just me, my brain, the laptop and the beginning of 2010.

this beginning feels nice though.

imagine that you are walking in some impossibly pristine meadow, and it is late. it is this time, and the blue moon forecasted has actually happened and you are walking up a slow rise to the crest of a hill. to those who know what the hell i am talking about, it is Valley Forge Park pristine. at the crest, the rest of the hill, the valley, the forest and in the far distance, the city awaits. this is what is happening now. this is what is in-store for 2010. peace, calm, beauty and if wanted, the lights.

at least, this is what i want.

to those who know, to those who know me, i love you.

ok. good.