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hello. my name is 1977, and i miss you. it has been some time since we have spoken. perhaps you have forgotten me, or at least forgotten my number. maybe you've moved on to another year, one that has different numbers, larger numbers or prime numbers. 1753, there is a good year, with prime numbers, ahhh, 1753. sorry, i digress. anyway, 1977 here is saying that i would love to hear from you. just use this handy device to look up my number. i think it is still in there. ok.
this may be the most perfect combination of items i have ever had the chance to witness. as you can see, it is a mangled birthday cake sitting on what looks like a puddle of urine, and a pile of dog shit. think about the messages being sent here. an image of sweetness and fun times and laughter and presents and the surprise on the office manager's face when we presented the last cake in the market basket bakery case to her, combined with a pile of dog shit. a pile. i love the way that this is described. it isn't a mound or a collection. it isn't just "dog shit." it's too small to be a heap and too large to be "a touch." it is a pile. a pile of dog shit.so, here we are. happy birthday to anyone who wants a half-eaten birthday cake sitting in a puddle of urine next to a pile of dog shit.wait a minute. i just had a thought. what if this cake was for a dog. a dog's birthday. this cake was presented to a dog in honor of it's birthday. and what did that dog do? it was so excited it squatted down and began devouring that cake. and in that excitement, the dog took a piss and laid down that pile.i think i like this vision better. this is what happened.ok. good.
a few weeks ago, i was in columbus OH. near columbus, in Dayton, is the Museum of the United States Air Force. I did not know this, but was glad to find it out, as i had 2 kids to entertain for the day and this sort of thing is something they would enjoy. the museum is comprised of 3 massive hangars that contain military aircraft from 1918 to the present. a lot of scary material was on display, neutron and atom bombs, ballistic missles, and every type of fighter jet, bomber and combat craft created by the military powers of the world. the technology and the ingenuity and the overall design excellence was impressive, but as we continued to make our way through the hundreds of aircraft on display, one thought dominated me.this is what happens when we are afraid. the motivational power of fear created some of the most advanced design and technology ever conceived. this is how humans work though. we don't bring our own bag to the grocery store because we are hopeful of getting a 5 cent credit, but i'm sure we'd bring them if we were afraid of getting charged 20 cents per bag. these theories about the power of fear are nothing new in psychological circles, but being in the presence of those planes, i felt their force. ok. good.
this might just sum it all up. ok. good.
there some things that people say. some of those things are so formulaic that they have lost their meaning. there are some things that people want to say, but just don't understand how easy it should be to do so. i made posters of those things and here are a few pictures. not shown is the version that says "hi. let's be friends. ok." the ink is same as "hi. how are you doing. good." the posters are 26 x 40" and are silk-screened. not hand-pulled however, so the ink is less thick but has a cleaner finish. if you want one, they are $50. that includes USPS shipping in the US. you can email me at adamcohn249@gmail.com and we'll do a paypal thing. that is about as advanced as my ecom strategy is at this point. thanks for your interest. ok. good.
yes. do this. in the area. where is this, you may ask? it's the area. maintain silence there. it isn't that difficult. just do it. please just be quiet and everything will be ok. you shouldn't be talking or making sound anyway. the sign says to maintain silence. this implies that a state of silence should have already existed, and you are simply being asked to maintain that state. it is so easy, you didn't even have to do the hard part. someone else created the silence, all you have to do keep it going. what is so damn hard about that? here, let me break it down for you. you know that thing that is happening now, that silence? well, maintain it. keep doing it. don't stop the silence that already exists. ok, i think i've made myself clear. silence, stay. oh, and remember, this should happen in the area. ok.
be quiet, just for a moment. stop talking and stop the talking inside your head or your heart or wherever. give the people standing next you that look. the one that will shut them up. do this to the people walking towards you as well. everyone please just stop making noise and sounds. stop.ok.
now think for a moment about the air conditioning units in this building. think about what one sounds like. good. now think about what they all sound like running simultaneously. imagine that some are brand new, and others are nixon administration new. if you are all being quiet like i asked, then the sound must be deafening. think about a sunny day, but you are getting rained on. you are walking in front of this building on the sidewalk. these units are raining on you.
is there a rainbow?
ok. good.
